The Reason for Marriage - Chapter 4.2

The silence that had fallen over the gardens seemed to last an age. Iveca had found a spot on the ground and stared a hole through it, trying desperately to keep a lid on the rage that was bubbling up inside her. Anriq said nothing, only occasionally glancing at the woman who had been his only friend for so long. His mind wandered back; their storied past running through his head, his stoic face not betraying the raft of memories that flooded in. He saw them, as children, running through the very grounds they stood silently in now so many years later. As he dwelled on this, Iveca finally spoke. 

“…Were you always pretending to look after me?”

Anriq raised his head. An inquisitive look, tinged with worry, spread across his features. 

“Pretending?”

Iveca shot him a glare. 

“You never once held my hand, you know. You talked a lot about how much you cared, but… Did you ever show it? You come to me now, begging me not to accept the proposal from the King. But you wouldn’t try to take his place, would you? So why are you trying to stop me?”

  Iveca looked at Anriq with a resentful gaze. Before entering the Bureau of Investigation, she had willed up everything in herself to ask him a difficult question – to get married. To run away together, away from her so-called family and her life here. He had refused, saying that he couldn’t betray the Count’s kindness, and then pledged himself instead to the royal guard. She had never really forgiven him for it. A part of her hated him for it. But so much more of her, in the saddest possible way, knew that he was the only person that she could talk to. She was treated like an object rather than a person in the Count’s estate, and right now she felt like her only true friend was doing the same thing.

“Ive…”

“Don’t ‘Ive’ me, Anriq. Four years I knew nothing, no one. And in that time, since you left the Count’s estate, you haven’t looked for me even once.”

Anriq paused a moment, considering his words.

“It has been difficult for me too, you know”.

Her surprise at his reaction softened her a little, but before she could respond Anriq had already passed her and walked away across the garden. She got to her feet, calling after him.

“Anriq, wait!”

But he was gone, uncatchable in the darkness. She saw the faint silhouette vanish altogether and he was gone completely. 

Iveca’s mind was racing now. The anger and frustration of before had gone, replaced with a deep confusion and a worry for her current situation.

He said the Queen’s seat was not good for me? I guess the same goes for Daniel, if what he has said about him is true… and this missing woman… and Anriq.

 Iveca never thought she would be so heartbroken to be able to see someone she cared about every day. She certainly wouldn’t make a good Queen for King Daniel if affection were the only standard to be measured.

Weakness? she scoffed. She was sick and tired of living with the weight of her own weakness. She knew the rumors about her heritage, and it felt that no matter what she did or how well she did it she would always be living in that shadow. No doubt, she thought, knowing my mother, my real father really was a handsome young stableman… if the looks she got in the hallways were anything to go by, this was probably true. But no matter how curious, or how hurt she was, the moment she publicly asked that question she might be thrown out of the family for good, for rocking the boat and breaking the balance of silence. It wore her down every day and she had no one to turn to. Except for Anriq…

Iveca looked still into the dark night sky and raised her hand to cover the moon. She hated herself for being under the moonlight. She was just a superficial Queen that was going to be used. She ran to the Bureau of Investigation to get out of her frustrating life, but then came back, as though she were bonded to this awful place. Maybe she was simply wrong from the start; she was a person who could not even pursue ordinary affection or happiness in the first place.

Iveca sat alone in the backyard for a long time. As always, no one looked for her as the sun began to rise.

***

Usually, a wedding day would be cause for celebration for everyone involved. But Iveca felt no joy at the events unfolding in front of her, not even once they had come to a noisy conclusion.

The fact that the Queen was attached to the House of Esselburn, a neutral aristocrat representative, also meant that she once again felt the pressure of what Daniel would do, or would not do, in the future. Everyone knew that King Daniel, the Third Prince, hadn’t fought for the throne. In fact, circumstances seemed to align almost perfectly to thrust the unwilling prince upon it. Which meant no one knew exactly what his goal was. 

It was these mysteries that plagued Iveca, assigned to a splendid Queen’s Palace after a hectic wedding, while she sat in a chair and let the whirlwind of the day pass over. She had been looked after as a Queen would expect to be; the ladies-in-waiting helped her bathe and even applied a lot of perfumed oil on her, but it did not feel real yet.

She took a moment to take in her surroundings. The palace was spectacular and drenched in history; the previous Queen, Testy, who had murdered her predecessor Suzanna, had died here after a guilty verdict at her trial. This place was not one of peace. Iveca always thought everything was momentary, but the things that had happened here remained – soaked into the walls and dripping down onto the current generation. Would she leave a legacy like they had? Not so bloody, she hoped to herself.