I Will Surrender My Position as the Empress - Chapter 43
On that momentous occasion, a hushed silence fell upon everyone in the room. Lionel found himself unconsciously chewing on the tender flesh inside his mouth. The Emperor sat closely beside the Empress, gently sweeping his fingers through her hair. With meticulous care, he untangled the strands of her black hair that clung to his face, instructing Lionel as he plucked each strand from her dark tresses.
“Aide, fetch a damp cloth.” His command was delivered with an intimidating tone.
The order sent Lady Giggs scrambling to respond, her reaction swift like a drawn spring.
“Your Majesty, I…,” she began, but the Emperor cut her off with a single sharp phrase.
“Aren’t you the Empress’s attendant? This should be within your capabilities.”
His words left Lady Giggs flustered and her protests stifled. The Emperor’s gaze, fixed on the unyielding Lionel, seemed to convey his disapproval. All eyes in the room—the courtiers and servants who had been waiting outside the Empress’s chamber—now turned their collective attention toward Lionel. In that moment, Lionel couldn’t help but feel the pitiful and absurd nature of his position. The Emperor had deliberately issued this command to showcase the shallow nature of the relationship between Lionel and the Empress. So, there was no need to waver, and in fact, there was no real reason to waver, right?
Yet why was his heart swaying like a reed in the wind, and why was it so difficult to breathe, as if he were buried beneath a mound of earth? Lionel struggled to quell his precarious emotions and reached for a towel that had been prepared in a corner. The Emperor maintained his icy demeanor, his gaze fixed on Lionel with an expression of mild annoyance, before roughly accepting the towel. He then turned his attention to the sleeping Adele, carefully wiping her face as though handling delicate glasswork. His touch was cautious and delicate, like that of a craftsman working on a fragile masterpiece.
Lionel watched this scene unfold without daring to blink, as if he wanted to etch it into his very retinas. After a moment, as Adele’s face, once damp with sweat and tears, was restored to its pristine state, Karl emerged from the bed with a satisfied expression. He approached Lionel, who stood nearby, and pressed the slightly warm towel against Lionel’s chest, whispering in a satisfied tone.
“From now on, when the Empress is asleep, wait outside the door. Understand?”
The Emperor left instructions for the physician to be contacted should the Empress awaken, then left the room. Lady Giggs approached Lionel and took the damp towel from his hands. Lionel, his expression remaining stoic and rigid, glanced at Adele’s face once more before turning away. The elderly lady mumbled under her breath, unable to fathom Lionel’s thoughts, and lowered her head slightly.
＊ ＊ ＊
Leaving the Empress’ residence behind, Lionel returned to his own office and locked the door behind him. Henri Jacquard asked him what was amiss, but Lionel couldn’t muster a response. Despite exhaling the breath he’d been holding and attempting to calm himself, his chest still felt constricted. Lionel’s trembling hands undid the buttons of his shirt, and he slowly unfastened them. He closed his eyes tightly, attempting to quell his raging heart, yet that scene flashed before his mind’s eye—the Emperor seated on the Empress’s bed, leaning casually as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“He…” Lionel sighed as he collapsed onto the sofa, overcome by the tumult within him.
They were a married couple. It wasn’t uncommon for the Emperor to attend to the Empress, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t draw criticism. Yet, at that moment, seeing that image, Lionel felt an overwhelming urge to scream in frustration.
“As soon as the Empress woke, she asked for you, not His Majesty.”
“Do you know how she views this place as if it were hell?”
Continuously wiping away his confused expression, he clenched his teeth tightly. It had been just a day since he vowed to suppress his desires and never let them surface again. Yet the tumultuous emotions surged up like boiling water, shaking him forcefully. Unable to endure any longer, Lionel abruptly stood up. His heart was pounding so hard that his chest hurt. He vigorously pressed his hand against his forcefully beating chest and growled like a wounded animal. This emotion could never be resolved. No, it wasn’t even clear what it was in the first place. Naming it was frightening. Was it longing, envy, respect, awe, or something else entirely? Amidst the depths of this obscure emotion, Lionel suddenly thought of Adele’s face as she slept, looking as lifeless as death. Is she okay? Lionel chuckled wistfully and covered his eyes with his hand. It felt as if he were being choked by a collar around his neck. He was being tossed around so recklessly by even the smallest thing about her.
＊ ＊ ＊
“Continue the conversation we were having earlier.”
As Karl left the Empress’s residence, he spoke to the courtier who followed him. By the time he heard the news that the Empress had woken up, the Emperor was in a carriage, listening to the courtier’s report about the Empress.
“Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to gather information about the situation inside the palace.”
“And? Did they share a room or not?”
“They seemed to have used separate rooms.”
“….”
Karl gritted his teeth and gnawed at his lip, his expression twisted. Lionel Baldr. His very presence grated on Karl like a thorn stuck in his throat. The Empress had called for him as soon as she woke. And it was without a doubt that he had come running at her beck and call. Why? Karl, too, had rushed upon hearing the news of the Empress waking up. The courtier noticed the Emperor’s ominous demeanor and chose his words carefully.
“Also, two days ago, she visited the slums beyond the Niavara River.”
Karl, lost in thought with a furrowed brow, stopped in his tracks.
“The slums?”
“Yes. It seems she stayed there for about two hours. According to the boy who guided the Empress, she inspected the interior of the houses in the slums.”
“Who was with her?”
“Lionel Baldr was with her.”
The Emperor fell silent and lowered his gaze. The courtier held his breath; his shadow was long and imposing. How long had he been standing there? Eventually, the Emperor began to walk slowly. Unbeknownst to himself, the courtier took a deep and lengthy breath and quickly followed behind him.
When the Emperor returned to his office, Diane was waiting for him. As he entered, she rose from her seat and offered a cheerful smile. It was a habitual gesture.
“Are you here, Your Majesty?”
Although her greeting was warm, Karl only glanced at her with an indifferent gaze and wordlessly walked to his desk. His heart was as chilly as if a gust of wind had blown through. Dian bit her lip forcefully. Nevertheless, she composed herself, turning her body away and smoothing her expression.
“Do you have something to discuss?”
The Emperor, checking the pile of documents on his desk, inquired. His gaze and hands remained fixed on the papers. Diane grew anxious, interpreting it as a signal that he had no intention of discussing anything with her right now.
If it were any other time, she might have approached him with a stern expression, pressed her lips against his cheek, and playfully asked for his attention later. Then, she would have fluttered her eyelashes, asking him to visit her later with a coquettish tone, and left the room with an air of indifference.
But this time, the moment the servants carefully opened the side door, someone entered the Emperor’s office. Diane’s gaze slowly turned toward her. The shimmering blonde hair caught the sunlight and sparkled. A dignified and refined profile, and movements as gentle as a spring breeze.
Diane held her breath and gazed at her. In the midst of a world frozen in time, there were only the maid and Diane. It felt as if only the two of them existed. The maid moved gracefully and approached the Emperor’s desk, quietly beginning to organize the scattered documents. Her slender fingers danced across the papers like dancer. Her pupils, which quietly checked the documents, were the color of a pale sky—the same color as the young woman who had left the Emperor’s room not long ago. Ah……A shock surged through Diane as if all the blood in her body had suddenly rushed downward. The sensation of her palms becoming moist in an instant, a shivering chill passing through her spine—she almost sank on the spot. The anxiety that always clung to her, tormenting her nights from behind, had finally revealed its true form. It was greater than the unease she had felt when facing the Empress.
How many young women with blue eyes and blonde hair under twenty-nine years old are there?
As the overseer of many scenes who had guarded the palace for a long time, what did the Chief Steward gaze upon? Diane’s beautiful pupils were tinged with crimson. The maid, with the appearance of a delicate spring, tidied the documents and, as if embracing them, gazed at the Emperor. The Emperor noticed her gaze and looked at her.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
It sounded tender somehow. Tenderly heard. The maid tilted her head gently and, with a cheerful movement resembling a squirrel, strolled across the Emperor’s office. Diane’s gaze stubbornly stayed on her. Thud. Only after the door closed did Diane release the breath she had been holding.
“If you have nothing to say, then leave, Diane.”
“….”
Diane slowly lifted her gaze and looked at Karl. His cold stare lingered on her briefly before disappearing once again.
Ah, you’re pushing me back into hell once more. Why do I like this? Aren’t you even slightly curious about my feelings?
“Where did you go?”
“What?”
Karl, who had been absentmindedly looking at the documents, furrowed his brow and looked at Diane again. Only then did her appearance register properly in his eyes. A disheveled appearance, bloodshot eyes, and a determined gaze.
“Where did you go?”
Diane asked in a voice that was almost teary.
“I think the attendant for the documents was changed. The one who worked here before seems to have had some issues. The girl who just left, she seemed meticulous. Actually, the Empress has reassigned all the maids to different positions, so it’s a bit inconvenient.”
“Diane…?”
“Is it not permissible for you to pay attention to me?”
The Emperor frowned and stared at Diane for a while, then finally, in a low voice, granted her request.
“Fine.”
Whether he said it or not, it didn’t matter. It meant, Do as you please. The attendant standing nearby pressed her lips together and looked at the Emperor with an exasperated expression. The Emperor’s response was devoid of consideration. The attendant then turned her gaze to Diane.
Her expression, her breath, her demeanor, her tone. The chief steward could predict, without even looking, how Diane would react if the maid delivering documents was reassigned to her.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
After Diane left the Emperor’s room, some time later, when another person entered to take over the shift, the attendant left the Emperor’s room. And after contemplating something for a moment, with a resolute expression, she began to walk somewhere. Around the time when the attendant for the documents was about to be replaced, the person who had discreetly approached her said:
“When Diane Portiers sees that maid, she will undoubtedly try to recruit her into her own division. If you notice any signs like that and feel it’s necessary, come to me immediately.”
*****
Meanwhile, Lennox promptly responded to Diane’s call. Seeing his sister after a few days, he could sense her unease.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
Diane, who had been nervously pacing, absentmindedly picked at her nails and then chewed on her lips.
“Diane Portier!”
Despite her young age when their parents passed away, Diane remained composed. Suddenly anxious, Lennox grabbed her shoulders and shouted.
As Lennox shook her, Diane, who had been swaying with his movements, suddenly grabbed his arm and snapped at him.
“I told you to manage the maids properly, didn’t I?”
“What’s gotten into you?”
“You can’t even do that properly?!”
“I told you! The Empress and Hannah Giggs have complete authority over all appointments. I can’t do anything about hiring or dismissing people. Don’t you understand?”
Inside the guest room reserved for the palace’s honored guests, the voices of the two were significantly restrained compared to the Ivory Palace. Gripping each other’s arms tightly and growling, the two fell into silence as Lenox finished speaking. Dian glared at Orabi with fiery eyes, then let out a frustrated sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. Finally, in a rough voice, she spoke up.
“The maid who used to manage the Emperor’s documents will be reassigned to my division. So, I expect you to handle it.”
