I Will Surrender My Position as the Empress - Chapter 26.1
The tale of Mrs. Giggs had unfolded over an extended period, her struggles as the late empress leaving her in a state of constant distress. But the pinnacle of her anguish was reached when her lady-in-waiting, Yi, bore the emperor a son. The emperor declared the child the empress’s adopted son and heir, a decision that neither the former empress, who could not bear children, nor the birth mother could accept with ease. The child, separated from its biological mother, was raised in the palace, much to the chagrin of the former empress. At six years old, the child learned that the mother she thought was hers was actually a stepmother who despised her deeply, while her true mother was half-mad and insane by the time she visited at age seven. Such a twisted upbringing was bound to leave its mark.
Mrs. Giggs had shared this story with Adele, hoping to improve the relationship between the emperor and the empress, for understanding another’s story is the foundation of building meaningful connections. Despite this, Adele showed no sympathy for the emperor, lacking a deep understanding of the empress herself. Adele let out a long sigh, brushing her hair back to reveal her shining golden eyes amidst her dark locks.
“When I first met the emperor, he was hostile towards me, and I wondered why. You said it was because he saw me and the previous empress on the same level. What does that mean?” Adele asked.
“Your Majesty,” Mrs. Giggs replied, “I mean that I was worried as soon as I arrived here. When did I ever meet Emperor Ehmont before? I even saw his portrait for the first time on my way here. How baffled I must have been by his hostility.”
“But I never thought it would stem from a deep-seated attachment and resentment towards the position of empress itself. What is there to compare between me and the previous empress?” Adele continued.
“It’s an unconscious reaction, not a rational decision,” Mrs. Giggs explained.
“It’s problematic when the highest ruler has instincts that overpower reason!” Adele exclaimed, her anger flaring up.
“But, as you said, he is the Supreme,” Mrs. Giggs added hesitantly.
“And?” Adele prompted.
“Your Majesty, he is the Most High and your Majesty’s consort,” Mrs. Giggs responded.
“And?” Adele repeated, growing impatient.
“So, it is imperative that you humble yourself and accept the authority of the empress to please the emperor. Why did you wait until now to speak of hiring an aide? Did you not think that Lionel Baldr’s arrival would displease the emperor?” Mrs. Giggs asked, not shying away from the truth.
Adele was furious, her chest boiling like lava, as Mrs. Giggs looked on with a perplexed expression. “On the first day I arrived, Diane Poitiers came to see me and offered to enlighten me on His Majesty’s preferences,” Adele stated.
Mrs. Giggs’ eyes flared with anger. “How dare she!”
“She dared to come to me and say it. She instructed me to conform my appearance to His Majesty’s preferences.”
Mrs. Giggs bowed her head and apologized, “I’m sorry.”
“You need not apologize, Mrs., but what distinguishes what you said to me just now from what Diane Poitiers said that day?”
“Your Majesty the Empress…”
“Do you know what I told her? I claimed that she had never considered attempting to mold me to someone else’s preferences.”
“……..”
“A passive existence that acquiesces without question. A comfortable partner who comes and goes when they please.” Adele laughed at the absurdity of it all. “Where does that leave you? In the shadow of the previous empress and branded as a disgrace?”
“But what if I am sorry? I am an uncomfortable person. Not even in Gottrov did anyone find me comfortable. I do not desire to be regarded as such. I loathe those who think of me as an easy and convenient person and do not consider me. I am a very selfish person.”
“It seems as though he wishes to vent all sorts of frustrations by blaming me for faults that are not my own, but I have no intention of acquiescing to that.”
“But if you want to be comfortable here, Her Majesty…” Mrs. Giggs said.
Adele’s eyes glowed golden, and Mrs. Giggs trembled at the intensity.
“Comfort? Did you ask me about the standard of comfort?” Adele couldn’t help but laugh.
“In the depths of the emperor’s heart, there is a child who has not been able to resolve his resentment. Deep in my heart, there is probably at least one such child. A child to be patted on the back and hugged. Regrettably, I am not generous enough to embrace the child who is in the depths of the Emperor even as I am unjustly beaten.”
“And think carefully. If you bow down to meet the wishes of a child who can’t even properly recognize his own mind, will it really get better? Isn’t that neglect?!”
Mrs. Giggs bowed her head and apologized once more. “It was presumptuous.”
The air was thick with tension as Mrs. Giggs apologized once more, bowing deeply before Empress Adelaide. But Adele’s mind was elsewhere. She couldn’t help but think of the life she had left behind in Gottrov—the life that had led her to this moment. She had always known that her aspirations went beyond merely becoming an empress. It was something deeper, something more personal.
“I was the crown princess of Gottrov. If the ‘comfort’ others say was my standard, I wouldn’t be here right now,” she spoke firmly, reminding herself and her elderly lady of her true purpose.
The empress understood that her beliefs and values were her guiding principles, the very foundation of her identity. She refused to compromise them for anyone or anything, even if that meant clashing with the emperor himself.
“The most important thing in the world is none other than me, Adelaide itself,” she whispered, reaffirming her sense of self. “That’s ahead of the position of emperor. So, he is dead when he dies, but he can never obey the command to hold his breath and wield whatever he wants. Do you understand?”
Mrs. Giggs nodded slowly, her eyes downcast. Empress Adelaide continued with a sense of finality, “If you find it difficult to have me as the empress, feel free to tell me.”
“I’m really sorry,” Mrs. Giggs murmured, but Adelaide was already turning away. She stood tall and straight, her back to the elderly lady, as she walked purposefully into the room. The darkness enveloped her, but she held her head high. She would not falter, would not compromise her values for anyone.
